


Happily Ever After (Below the Waist)

by Bandom_Squirrel



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: AU, M/M, Mild Angst, Nonbinary Gerard Way, Summer of Like, Trans Mikey Way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:01:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29787519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bandom_Squirrel/pseuds/Bandom_Squirrel
Summary: Mikey is a trans boy, Gerard uses they/them pronouns, and Pete is accidentally an asshole.
Relationships: Mikey Way/Pete Wentz
Kudos: 10





	Happily Ever After (Below the Waist)

Mikey sometimes wondered if his parents ever wished they had a normal child. 

Don’t get him wrong, his parents had always shown nothing but support, but Mikey wondered if it would’ve been easier on them to have at least one cisgendered, heterosexual child. But of course, the world didn’t work like that, and instead their daughter became their son and their son stopped identifying as male, although they never really specified what they were.

Gerard was just like that, never using labels to describe anything about themself. Their parents had been a bit confused at first, but at least Gee hadn’t changed their name like Mikey had, so there weren’t too many questions. Gerard had the same no labels policy for their sexuality, and Mikey often wondered if that was because they liked the freedom or if because they simply had no idea. Or, possibly, not a single one of the letters in LGBTQ+ really described them.

Mikey could understand. Ever since realizing he was a boy and dropping the lesbian label, he’d considered himself to be mostly heterosexual. However, there were enough exceptions to that at this point for him to not be sure if he was really allowed to say that anymore. 

One of those exceptions being the man draped across his chest in a tiny bunk in the Fall Out Boy tour bus. He was fiddling absently with Mikey’s hair, something Mikey would usually be annoyed with, but he was too busy staring at the bus ceiling to tell him to stop. Here went nothing. 

“Pete,” Mikey started, and Pete dropped his hand from Mikey’s hair to his chest, humming in acknowledgement and looking up at him with these big eyes. Mikey always felt like the center of the universe when Pete looked at him like that, and he wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing. “There’s something I should probably tell you.”

“Okay,” Pete replied cautiously, clearly picking up on the serious tone in Mikey’s voice. He sat up, at least as much as he could in the space they had, and looked at Mikey expectantly. Mikey sighed. He’d done this many times before, to people who meant both more and less than Pete. He should be used to this by now. 

“You know how I’ve been denying you sex?” Mikey had used smoother openers to the conversation, but honestly, if he wasn’t planning on having sex with Pete then he probably wouldn’t be having this conversation, so it seemed like a good place to start. 

“Yeah,” Pete said, and looked a bit sheepish. “I mean, I get it if you’re like, not into dude sex or something. Like, honestly, I actually haven’t ever gone much further with a guy than I have with you because it all sounds really hot in my head but then when I see a dick I have this like, mental freak out, but I really like you, and you’re really hot, so I think I could get over that, but if you don’t want-“

“Pete, no. I want to have sex with you,” Mikey interrupted, and Pete just looked confused. Mikey sighed, closing his eyes for a moment and mentally preparing himself. “It’s just that I don’t actually have a dick.” 

“What?” This didn’t seem to clear up any of Pete’s confusion, and his eyebrows did this weird little scrunchy thing that Mikey found needlessly adorable. “Did it like, fall off or something? Can that even happen?” Despite the situation, Mikey couldn’t help but laugh, the sound bursting out of him as he tried to stifle it back. Pete looked like he was starting to grow annoyed with how little answers he was getting, so Mikey shook his head. 

“No, no, Jesus Christ, it didn’t fall off. I just, uh, never had one,” Mikey corrected, nervously fidgeting with his hands. This was it. “I’m trans.” Mikey closed his eyes for a moment before opening them to gauge Pete’s reaction. This was the point where he always had the split second of fear that he was about to be punched in the face or called a variety of different slurs, but Pete’s expression was just one of surprise. 

“Oh,” Pete said after a moment, then paused, and Mikey just pressed his lips together and waited for Pete to say something that made sense. “Okay. So do you like, wait, no, nevermind. I’ve felt you up, I know you don’t have tits. But like, okay. You’re still a dude, right, you just don’t have a dick?”

“Yeah, I’m a man. I just don’t have a penis,” Mikey confirmed, and Pete seemed to consider this, leaning back and biting his lip. Mikey waited impatiently for more of a reaction, wishing that Pete would either say he’s good with it or call him a freak and that would be the end of it. 

“Okay. That’s cool,” was all Pete said, and Mikey let a tiny smile of relief poke through his stoic expression. Well, now that was one less thing to be worried about, although he had a feeling Pete had more thoughts that he simply wasn’t voicing. It was probably better for both of them if they stayed that way. 

“So would you still be willing to have sex with me?” Mikey asked, because he wanted to know. It had been difficult to redirect Pete’s attention the times that he’d gone for Mikey’s jeans, and not just because Pete was one persistent motherfucker. 

“Dude, of course! I was actually kinda scared I was gonna totally embarrass myself, because I’m pretty good at sex but I haven’t had much experience with guys, but I’ve been with enough girls to know exactly how that whole area works, so I can totally make this good for you.” Mikey smiled, and although he felt a twinge of dysphoria being compared to girls Pete had slept with, he brushed it aside in favor of the relief that Pete didn’t think he was some sort of freak.

“Okay, that’s good,” Mikey replied with a sigh, looking into Pete’s eyes. “Would you care to show me how good you are, or do I just have to go off your word? Because I don’t know dude, just saying your good at sex isn’t the most trustworthy source.”

“Oh, I’ll show you,” Pete promised with a grin, and Mikey didn’t know to feel about how when Pete kissed him then, he seemed a lot less restrained than usual. 

~

“Gee,” Mikey called, opening the curtain to Gerard’s bunk and not waiting for an invitation before climbing in with them. “I need to talk to you.” Gerard seemed surprised by Mikey’s entry, dropping the comic they’d been reading in startlement. They recovered quickly, however, wrapping an arm around Mikey without any hesitation. 

“Hey Mikes. What’s up?” Gerard asked, and Mikey had always loved how Gerard was always willing to drop whatever they had been doing in an instant to focus completely on him. Mikey sighed and burrowed into Gerard’s side. 

“I think Pete only wants to sleep with me because I don’t have a dick,” Mikey told Gerard forlornly. Gerard “hmm”d at this and pulled Mikey closer to their side, looking at him quizzically. 

“Just last week you were telling me that you were scared he wouldn’t want to sleep with you if he knew you don’t have a dick,” Gerard pointed out. Mikey sighed, because he was right. But that was before he’d actually slept with Pete, multiple times, and had Pete confess to him on a hotel bed one night that Mikey’s lack of dick was really helping him not go into some sort gay panic. He knew Pete didn’t mean to be an asshole, but it stung. 

“I know, but that was then. Now I have more information,” Mikey argued, and Gerard wrinkled their nose in a manner that suggested they didn’t want to think about that too much. 

“Do you think he thinks of you as a girl now?” Gerard inquired cautiously, and Mikey shook his head, because no, that wasn’t it. It was more complicated than that. 

“No, no, it’s just,” Mikey started, not quite able to find the words he was looking for. “He thinks of me as a guy, and likes me for me, but I think he’s only sleeping with me because he thinks it isn’t gay.”

“Oh, Mikey,” Gerard said soothingly, rubbing their hand gently on Mikey’s back. “Didn’t he want to sleep with you before you told him?”

“Yeah, but he told me how there have been times before where he’s been into guys and thought he wanted to have sex with them, and then freaked out and couldn’t do it when he saw their dicks,” Mikey relayed. “I don’t want to be some sort of fetish for him, you know? I’m not usually dysphoric about that, I don’t even want a dick, really, but I just don’t like having my body compared to his ex girlfriends.”

“I know,” Gerard answered quietly, and Mikey could practically hear him thinking about what to say. “That was kind of a dickish thing for him to say. But from experience, it seems to me like that has more to do with his issues with his own bisexuality than it does with how he views you, Mikey.”

“Yeah,” Mikey sighed, pushing his glasses higher up onto his face. “Sometimes I feel like I want to come out to more people, but now I’m constantly fucking terrified that Pete’s gonna slip up and tell one of his bandmates about me, so I don’t know how I would deal with knowing that anyone could just know. Fuck Gee, I don’t even want many people to know I’m dating Pete because then I’d have to explain my sexuality.” Gerard nodded, not seeming at all thrown off by the subject change. Both of them would just do that in the middle of conversations, and it just seemed like the natural flow of speech to them, although other people tended to find it a bit strange. 

“I get that,” Gerard agreed, and Mikey could feel the tension in their hands. “I can’t even imagine coming out publicly. The idea of talking about my gender, or sexuality, for people to hear scares the shit out of me. Like, on one hand, I’m like yeah, I want the kids that look up to me to know that it’s okay not to fit inside the binary for gender or sexuality, but I also can’t fathom talking about something so personal to me for so many people to hear.” Mikey nodded, because he was fairly sure that he and his sibling were the only two people in the world who got each other. 

“I don’t want to have to worry about people thinking of me as a girl,” Mikey continued. “Or people thinking I have a male mind and a female body. It’s my body, and I’m a fucking man, so it’s a male body. I don’t want Pete thinking that I’m just a guy above the waist.”

“I don’t think anyone would think that,” Gerard said matter-of-factly, looking Mikey up and down consideringly. “You have very manly legs.” It was at that moment that the door to the bunks area burst open and Frank walked in. He looked like he was about to say something, but paused when he saw the Ways curled up in a bunk together, and his expression abruptly changed to one of concern. 

“What’s wrong?” Frank asked, and it looked for a moment like he was considering climbing in with them. He didn’t, which Mikey was glad for. Frank was tiny, but not that tiny. 

“Tell Mikey he has manly legs,” Gerard instructed, and Mikey rolled his eyes. 

“You have manly legs,” Frank told Mikey without missing a beat, his voice entirely too earnest. He didn’t even seem to think about what he said until after he said it, then pausing and furrowing his brow. “Wait, why? Do I need to beat someone up for you? ‘Cause I will.”

“You know that wasn’t what I meant,” Mikey said to Gerard, before stretching his legs and climbing out of the bunk. “No, Frank, you don’t need to beat anyone up. Wanna play Halo?” Frank brightened and nodded eagerly, and the discussion was over. 

~

“Mikey,” Pete breathed, voice sounding strained and breathless. Mikey grinned against Pete’s neck, not moving his lips from where they were latched. “Oh my god, you’re so, you’re so fucking hot. And, fuck, can I call you pretty? I don’t mean in a girly way, you’re just so fucking gorgeous.” 

“You can call me pretty,” Mikey told him, pulling away. He was rather touched that Pete thought to ask. It was a bit more considerate than he usually tended to be. He looked up at Pete sitting on top of him, and it should’ve felt cheap, laying on the couch in the lounge of the otherwise empty Fall Out Boy bus, making out like teenagers. But something about the way Pete’s dark black hair fell messily over his eyes, and the way his eyeliner was smudged without him even seeming to notice, and the way he was just grinning at Mikey, made him feel that yeah, he could call this man pretty too. “You’re fairly pretty yourself.” Mikey paused, grinning. “And I do mean in a girly way.”

“Fuck you,” Pete chided teasingly, leaning down to kiss Mikey again, and Mikey was more than okay with that. He let his hands roam, fingers skimming under his shirt and brushing over skin. Pete leaned down, essentially lying on top of Mikey at this point, and Mikey wondered vaguely if they should be doing this in an area that any of Pete’s bandmates could walk into at any time. 

That thought vanished when Pete started tugging Mikey’s shirt off, and thinking of reasons to argue really seemed like too much effort. He really wasn’t going to argue an attractive person removing his clothing, after all. When Mikey’s shirt was on a pile on the floor, Pete just stared at him, his expression one similar to wonderment, and Mikey paused, unsure of how to feel. Pete had seen him shirtless many times before, and didn’t usually seem this enamored with Mikey’s chest, and even when he did, it was more in a sexy way than this weird, admiring sort of way. Self-conscious, Mikey crossed his arms over himself, which seemed to draw Pete back to reality as he blinked and shook his head. 

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to stare. It’s just, you’re just, I just,” Pete stumbled over his words, and it should’ve been unbearably awkward, but Mikey found himself uncrossing his arms and trying not to laugh. It was nice, sometimes, feeling like he made Pete forget how to think logically.

Pete sighed then, kissing Mikey once quickly before leaning down to whisper in Mikey’s ear. It took a second for the words to register, but when they did, Mikey froze. 

“I love you, Mikeyway.”

~

“Gerard!” Mikey shouted, entering the bus to see Gerard sitting at the table, in the process of painting their fingernails black. They looked up when Mikey came in, and must’ve seen something on his face, because they immediately capped their bottle of nail polish, waving their hand to dry it. 

“What happened?” Gerard asked, clearly concerned. Mikey collapsed into the chair across from him, putting his face in his hands. He sighed, finally looking up, his eyes wide but his expression otherwise blank. 

“I think I fucked up,” Mikey said miserably, rubbing his temples. Part of him already wanted the shut down, just say he was fine, but he’d already started the conversation, and Gerard wouldn’t buy any of that bullshit. 

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Gerard assured him immediately, then paused. Mikey swallowed, schooling his features and leaning back in his chair. “But what happened?”

“I think Pete likes me more than I like him, and I’m being a dick by leading him on,” Mikey sighed, and winced internally. Gerard winced externally. 

“I think that’s something you need to talk to him about. You know I’m not exactly the best with relationships myself, but difference in expectations never ends well for anyone, Mikey,” Gerard told him. Mikey nodded and then shook his head. 

“But I can’t talk to him about now, because I fucked up,” Mikey argued, and all it took was a semi-questioning look from Gerard for him to explain more fully. “He told me he loves me, Gee.”

“Oh.” Gerard’s eyes went wide, but just for a moment, as if they realized that might be rude just a second too late. Mikey had always been better at hiding his reactions than his sibling, and his own face remained stoic. “What did you say to that?”

“I,” Mikey started, sighing and smoothing down his hair, not wanting to say it out loud again. The guilt was like a rock in his stomach, anchoring the words in his throat. “I said it back.”

“Did you mean it?” Gerard asked, pseudo-calm, although Mikey could hear the worry in their voice as clearly as if they hadn’t tried to hide it. 

“I don’t know!” Mikey answered, his voice louder than he had intended, and he hoped they were alone in the bus. He hadn’t thought to check. “Maybe? I’m not sure. I hadn’t thought about before, but he seemed so certain, and he never seems certain about anything, Gee. And I have no fucking idea, so I feel like I lied to him about the thing you’re not supposed to lie about in a relationship.”

“You need to talk to him about this.” This time, it sounded a lot less like a suggestion. “Mikey, leading him on is an asshole thing to do, and I know you’re not an asshole. You have to talk to him.”

“I know,” Mikey said quietly, looking at Gerard with big eyes. “What am I supposed to say? I was a dick, I don’t know if I love you, please keep having sex with me anyway?” Mikey’s voice fell back to his usual monotone, the muscles on his face tightening. 

“Pretty much,” Gerard agreed, smiling sympathetically at him. “But you should probably think of a less douchey way to say it.”

“Yeah,” Mikey sighed, looking down at the table. “I probably should.”

~

Mikey had Pete pressed up against an amp behind a merch tent, lips hard against his. Pete was making these appreciative noises and had his arms wrapped around Mikey’s back, grinding up against Mikey’s thigh. Mikey wondered if Pete had some sort of exhibitionist kink, as he always seemed to get them into these semi-public situations. 

“Oh god,” Pete mumbled against Mikey’s lips, and Mikey wondered if he ever shut up. “Fucking love you, Mikeyway.” If there was any way to get Mikey out of the mood in about five seconds, it was being reminded of an uncomfortable conversation he’d had with his sibling, especially if it also served as a reminder that he still had to do something he’d been putting off for days. 

“Pete,” Mikey started, pulling away. Pete tried to follow him with his lips, but Mikey firmly pushed him back against the amp. “Pete. We need to talk.” Pete whined a little, a desperate little noise that Mikey would tease him about in most other circumstances. 

“We can talk later,” Pete protested, wrapping his arms around Mikey’s neck and trying to pull him back in. As tempting as it was to just put this off even longer, Mikey stayed resolute. 

“No, Pete,” Mikey sighed, all of the sudden feeling incredibly awkward in his own body. “I haven’t been entirely honest with you, and I should be.” Sometimes Mikey scared himself with how emotionless he could make his voice go, and it caused a sudden shift in Pete’s demeanor as he slowly pulled back his hands from Mikey. 

“What is it?” Pete asked cautiously, like any second he could just put up his guard that Mikey knew nobody was ever able to get through. It was clear that neither of them wanted to have this conversation, and would most likely prefer to just pretend everything was fine, but that wasn’t fair to either of them. 

“I think,” Mikey began slowly, wanting the words to make sense. He wasn’t the best with words, that was Gerard’s strong suit. “I think you misinterpreted what I wanted this relationship to be, and I enjoyed the way you treated me enough to not correct you, and I’m sorry.”

“What do you mean?” Pete asked, voice progressively growing more defensive as he crossed his arms over his chest. Mikey took a step back, not wanting to have this conversation while his hips were still pressed firmly against Pete’s. 

“I don’t love you,” Mikey blurted out, then bit his lip and looked down after seeing the way Pete’s entire face just dropped. “Or maybe I do, I don’t know. The point is, I’m not sure, and I don’t really want to think about it. This was supposed to be a summer fling, Pete, we weren’t supposed to catch feelings, and you know this is going to end with the summer, right?”

“So you’re saying you lied to me?” Pete snapped, and it were as if he had just as much pent up emotion as Mikey and it was now all coming tumbling out. He shoved Mikey back forcefully, and Mikey didn’t resist. “You told me you loved me because you liked the way I treated you when I thought that? What do you think I am, some toy you can play with for a summer and then throw away?” Mikey winced. 

“No, Pete, I obviously don’t think that. I’m sorry, okay? I was confused, and you’re very, fuck, persistent I guess, and I-“

“You’re trying to blame this on me? Fuck you, Mikey! I can’t help how I feel, and you can’t blame me for being honest about it! Sorry I guess, for not being some sort of emotionless freak like you!”

“Stop it!” Mikey’s head felt hot, and he could feel his heart beat in his throat. Pete looked absolutely furious, and Mikey could feel the anger building up in himself as well. “I’m not entirely to blame here! I don’t love you, and that’s not my fault! And you’re the one who doesn’t even like acknowledging that I’m a guy! Do you have any idea how invalidating that is?”

“What the fuck? Are you saying I’m transphobic? Of course I see you as a man, Mikey! What are you talking about?” Mikey let out a huff, and in that moment would rather be literally anywhere besides where he was, with Pete still glaring at him in utter rage. 

“You know what I’m talking about! You’d always get weird about kissing me before you knew I was trans, and you told me it was a sexuality crisis, so why the hell would that have gone away? I’m still a guy, Pete, even if I don’t have a dick.” Pete let out a strangled noise of anger, and Mikey was beginning to get into the groove of the fight, something he knew couldn’t have good consequences. 

“Oh my god! Are you actually upset right now that my gay freak out stopped? Holy shit, man, the audacity you must have!”

“Oh, fuck you! I’m upset because you obviously don’t think this is gay! I’ve heard you, Pete, you’ve told me, about you’re whole ‘gay above the waist’ thing! Well this is gay! We’re two men, and we fuck! And I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who thinks I’m only a man above the waist!” Mikey was shaking now, and he really wished he would just stop, that he and Pete could just calm down and talk about this civilly. Not out here in the open where anyone could hear them. 

“I- you- ugh! I didn’t tell you all that so you could use it against me! That isn’t about how I see you, it’s about how I see myself, and I really don’t think that’s relevant right now! You’re just trying to distract me from the fact that you’ve been leading me on because you wanted to have sex with me!” 

“You’re the one who brought sex into this, I never said it was because of that! I just like being loved, because I’m a fucking human, okay?”

“Oh, and that makes it any better? You fucking used me, Mikey, how am I supposed to ignore that?”

“I’m not asking you to! It’s just all out in the open now, alright? I like you, but I don’t love you, and I just want a summer fling, and I don’t like it when you act like my lack of a penis makes me less of a man, okay?” Pete just looked at Mikey, not even seeming angry anymore, just generally frustrated and entirely done with the situation. 

“Oh, fuck you.” Mikey watched Pete walk away, and wasn’t sure if he wanted to yell at him and continue the fight, or apologize and pretend everything was fine. In the end, he just stayed silent. 

~

“Mikey?” Gerard opened the curtain to Mikey’s bunk, and Mikey instinctively hid his face, not wanting his sibling to see the tear stains on his face. “Mikey, talk to me. Are you okay?”

“No,” Mikey answered after a moment, his voice sounding thick and much too high. He hated it. Gerard didn’t even ask before climbing into Mikey’s bunk, wrapping their arms around Mikey and pulling him in close. Mikey didn’t put up even a token protest, immediately folding into Gerard. 

“Shh, it’s okay. What happened?” Mikey hadn’t even realized he was crying until he heard Gerard’s words, and somehow the realization made the sobbing even worse. 

“I got in a fight with Pete,” Mikey mumbled against Gerard’s shoulder, sniffling despite his best efforts not to. Gerard rubbed their hand across Mikey’s back soothingly. 

“So you want to talk about it?” Gerard’s voice was low and gentle, and Mikey wondered if he would ever stop feeling like a kid when Gerard comforted them. He hoped he wouldn’t. 

“Not really.” Gerard didn’t press any further on the issue, for which Mikey was grateful. He just kept sniffling against his brother’s shoulder, feeling himself slowly calm down and his heart rate become steady. He shouldn’t be getting like this over a guy he’d been seeing for two months, especially someone like Pete, who he knew he didn’t have a future with. Pain didn’t always make sense. 

Gerard’s soothing murmurs in Mikey’s ear did make sense though, so Mikey decided to focus on those instead. 

~

Mikey honestly thought that that fight was going to be the end of him and Pete. The final, inevitable end that Mikey had anxiously been waiting for since pretty much as soon as he and Pete got together. And when two entire days went by without Pete even glancing in Mikey’s direction, Mikey figured he’d been right. 

That is, until the third day, when Mikey was sitting on a foldout chair next to Gerard under the hot afternoon sun, and saw Pete walking towards them. Mikey knew none of his surprise showed on his face, instead just keeping himself as neutral as possible until he knew what was going on. Pete looked absolutely miserable, his eyeliner smudged all to hell and his expression one of utter exhaustion. Mikey instinctively wanted to give him a hug, but considering everything, didn’t think that would be the best idea. 

“Hey Mikey,” Pete greeted, and he sounded as wrecked as he looked. Mikey wondered how long it had been since he’d slept, and then, with a pang of guilt, wondered how much of that was his fault. 

“Hey Pete,” Mikey returned blandly, still not sure of exactly what they were doing. Was this where they kissed and made up or where they ended things for good? Mikey had no idea. 

“Can I borrow him for a minute?” Pete was looking at Gerard now, who was looking between him and Mikey through his sunglasses. They seemed a bit cautious, as if Pete was going to make Mikey burst into tears again any second. Mikey rolled his eyes when Gerard looked at him, seeming to check for any sign of discontent. Apparently not seeing any, Gerard just shrugged and nodded. Mikey wasn’t sure if he was glad or disappointed that they didn’t say anything. 

“Come on,” Mikey said, standing up. He couldn’t get over how tired Pete looked as he led Mikey through the maze of buses. They walked in tense silence for a few minutes, until Mikey couldn’t take it anymore. “What are you doing, Pete?”

“I don’t know, Mikey, I just,” Pete sighed, and he looked at Mikey so imploringly that Mikey had to give in to his earlier impulse and give him a hug. Pete hugged back instantly, his grip insanely tight for how small of a guy he was. “I need you.”

“Pete.” Pete pulled away slightly, enough to look into Mikey’s eyes while still keeping his arms wrapped around his torso. Mikey could help but smile at how okay this was. It was a genuine smile, the kind one could only achieve when they were denying something unpleasant. Mikey knew they should be talking about the fight, but they didn’t want to, not when Pete was now smiling too. “I’m right here.”

“I know, Mikeyway,” Pete said quietly, painfully sincere. Mikey had no idea how Pete was able to feel as much as he did and not go crazy with it. “Do you wanna go get lunch?” Lunch was something Mikey could do. Lunch was a carefree summer romance thing to do and that was exactly what Mikey wanted. Lunch was perfect. 

“Of course, sweet little dude.”


End file.
